Real Money Stories: Uncovering the Limiting Beliefs Behind Overspending

Welcome to the first episode in series 7 of The In Her Financial Shoes podcast. In series 7 we are focusing on real money stories. Real women from all walks of life share their money stories and financial journey.

We have some incredible guests lined up for the series, many from my own community. This week, I am sharing my own story. My journey from emotional overspending, low self worth, and debt is one fraught with emotional turmoil, and in this episode I go deep into that story.

In fact, this interview with Jason Butler is my deepest ever interview, and I actually worried afterwards that I had perhaps shared too much! But I believe it is so important to speak openly and honestly about money, and there are some pearls of wisdom in this episode which I really believe will help lots of women.

Do you…

  • Find that you often put yourself and your own needs last?
  • Have difficulty saying no to others?
  • Avoid making payment arrangements or negotiations?
  • Avoid raising your prices or asking for a pay rise?
  • Give lots of discounts in your business or freelance work?
  • Give away your time and money freely?
  • Sometimes feel taken advantage of by others?
  • Feel resentful or angry after giving or helping others?

All of these messages are telling us something about our relationship with money. They often stem from a feeling of unworthiness, from low self worth and lack of love for ourselves. And often these emotions run deep into our early experiences.

We have spoken previously on the podcast about the trauma of money and financial PTSD. I often speak about this within my community too, and it is incredible what can come up when we begin to dig into our relationship with money and ourselves.

Trauma of Money

When we think of the words Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, we often think that it has to involve something really, really traumatic. Often that is the case, but just as often we can go through some things that we wouldn’t necessarily even consider to be trauma.

We reserve the term trauma for a very specific set of circumstances and often the most dramatic ones. But actually, sometimes it can be even smaller things. An argument about money can trigger a traumatic response. Perhaps as the result of an argument, we stop talking about money altogether.

Or perhaps a well-meaning adult triggered feelings of shame around spending money when you were a child or teenager, resulting in you feeling emotions of shame when you spend money on yourself.

It is not until we really examine these experiences that we can uncover financial traumas that we perhaps didn’t even know were there. Once we have uncovered the trauma we can begin to work through it. Manage the emotion, then manage the money.

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