Today I wanted to share with you a little exercise that I have done on a regular basis when I go through times of self sabotage, times when I think I’m not good enough to be doing this. Believe me, imposter syndrome always comes out – it’s that little inner critic voice always there on our shoulders. And actually, I know we talk about how imposter syndrome doesn’t serve us, but it can also serve us very well. It protects us and it helps us to make difficult decisions.
So on some occasions when my inner critic comes out and says ‘you’re not worthy of doing this’, I always remind myself of the relationship I have with money. Those of you who have followed me for some time will know that historically my relationship with money was never good or positive. I never believed that I was worthy of money because I never had money, so I always felt that I had to get rid of it. When I worked in the banking sector and was earning a good salary, you never would have know it because I literally spent the money before I was even paid it. When I kept money and didn’t spend it, it didn’t feel comfortable and it felt really unfamiliar, therefore I found something that I had to spend it on.
Predominantly for me, especially in my teens and twenties, that was clothes. I didn’t feel good about myself, and had very low self esteem and body confidence. This was one of the things which actually drove me to starting my first business as an image consultant.
So when I’m in that situation where I’m feeling unworthy of wealth, I remind myself of the journey that I have followed and the progress that I have made with money. So I wanted to share with you today a really useful exercise around thinking of money as a person. What would she be called, what would she be saying, would I treat her as a close friend?
If money were a person, what would she be called?
I want you to imagine that money is a person. Let’s call her Miss Penny.
- How’s she doing today?
- Have you checked in with her?
- Where’s she hanging out today?
- Is she your best friend or is she your enemy?
- Do you feel scared of her?
- Is she bullying you?
- Are you avoiding her right now?
- Are you mistreating her?
- Maybe you’re completely ignoring her.
- Are you letting her influence your decisions?
- Is she holding you back right now?
What I want you to think about is if money were a person, how would your relationship with her be.
Let’s think about:
- How does she support you with your relationship with money?
- Is she a protector?
- Is she cautious – is she saying to you “No! Don’t spend money doing that. You’re not worthy of spending money on yourself.”
- Is she carefree? – “Yeah, another handbag, sure why not! You don’t need another pair of shoes but stick them in the basket anyway.”
- Is she a hoarder? Is she telling you “Nope. You need to keep hold of that in the rainy day fund. You can’t invest it, investing is too risky.”
- What is she saying to you about money?
- Is she encouraging you to store and hold that money close to your chest?
- Is she spontaneous? – “Yeah, go into Amazon, £50 in your basket don’t even think about it.” Or “I’m feeling really rubbish today, I should go a treat myself”, or “I’m feeling really flat today, I should go and get some chocolate biscuits, that’ll make me feel better about the stressful day I’ve had.”
- Maybe she’s a giver – “Yeah, give your services away for free, maybe knock off 50% because this is your friend!” Or “maybe if I reduce my services by 50% I’ll attract more people.”
Think about what messages that person is saying to you. Because your relationship with money is your relationship with yourself. We can build a relationship with money, we can neglect it, we can ignore it, we can feel bullied by it, we can mistreat it, we can let it influence the decisions we make, we can let it engulf our minds so much that it actually restricts the opportunities that we have available to us.
The point is that you have the choice. This is your relationship with money. Sometimes it just needs a little bit of love, a little bit of attention and gratitude. But the choice is yours.
Finish the sentence
If money were a person, she would be called…
You can grab my free template to complete this exercise right here.
When you begin to focus on your relationship with money, you’re focusing on your thoughts, beliefs, and your inner dialogue and critic. Doing this helps us to get more clarity, increase our self worth, and have a better relationship with money. All of this in turn can then help you to move closer to living the life that you desire and value.
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