Real Money Stories: Being Financially Dependent

In series 7 we are focusing on real money stories, and this week it’s all about being financially dependent. Real women from all walks of life share their money stories and financial journey.

Financial dependency is really interesting. When somebody doesn’t believe in themselves or what they are capable of achieving, pursuing financial independence just suddenly stops being an option. Because they are dependent on the feeling of being financially protected and secure and responsible by being enabled by someone else.

Being Financially Dependent

This can often happen with parents, and it is common for parents to become your enablers. Actually by helping adult children, parents can be doing more harm than good. The reason that this happens usually stems from guilt, especially inter-generational guilt.

It might be that they have learned this behaviour from their parents. Perhaps their parents helped them financially so they believe this is something that they should be doing and feel guilty if they don’t. But by giving so much financially, one of the downsides is that parents can fail to teach their children financial responsibility.

When I work with clients, this word ‘responsibility’ is a big one. When clients use the word ‘responsibility’, it is always surrounded by so much emotion. Because what is connected to that word is protection. They felt protected and kept safe by their parents. And the parents felt that they were protecting.

Financial Abuse

Another subject very important to me around financial dependence is financial abuse. In over 90% of domestic violence cases, the reason that people report staying or being stuck is because of financial dependence. This topic is really close to my heart. If you have any concerns about someone you know around this, please do check the resources below for some useful links.

Journal Prompts to use after listening

Think about the word ‘responsibility’:

  1. How could you create a sense of responsibility for yourself around money? For example, learning something new about money, creating a spending plan, or learning about investing.
  2. Think about in what ways are you financially independent? And in what ways are you possibly financially dependent?
  3. If you’re a parent, journal around the messages your children see, hear, or experience around money.

Remember: journal prompts are not designed for you to bring any judgement around your thoughts. This is simply about bringing some awareness to your thoughts and beliefs.

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Financial Abuse: Useful Resources (deliberately plain design)

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