I want to talk about something that’s really topical, not just for me right now but for so many people that I am speaking to; my clients and other women that I’m connecting with. I want to talk about getting yourself out there when you’re feeling low on confidence, and ways to improve low self confidence in online business. Let me just say this is something that I really struggle with too. Right up to the moment of hitting the button to record a podcast or video I sit there and think about what I’m going to say; is it going to be perfect, who’s gonna listen to it?
So we all feel these feelings of fear and self-doubt, and I wanted to share with you some tips today that I hope will really help you when you’re feeling particularly low on confidence, want to get out there, and you’re holding yourself back. I went to a mastermind day recently with a group of ladies, and I also went on a retreat recently where this topic comes up on a regular basis, so we’re not alone!
7 tips to build self confidence in online business.
Reach out to your network.
Often when you’re running your own business, especially if you run your own business from home, it can get really lonely. One of the things that has completely helped to shape my business from a confidence perspective is to find two or three people that are maybe at a similar stage in business. People you can share your problems with, share your challenges, and share your wins and successes with. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and I think that’s so true. Have a think about who you can reach out to at times when you need support.
I have a number of business mentors as well as a number of business besties that I always reach out to when I need support. So if you’re feeling like that right now I would suggest this; go and grab a piece of paper and a pen and just start writing down people in your circle. People that are in your network that can support you in different areas of your life. This is something we actually did in the Plug Your Money Leaks challenge last week – we were talking about the concept of being in a boat, you’re about to set sail but you can’t set sail by yourself. You need to have expertise, you need to have people with you, and you need to have support. So grab a pen and a piece of paper and think about who could support you right now in;
- Family life
- Business life
- Growing your business
- Health and well-being
You’ll probably find that there’s way more people that will go on that list than you think. If you’ve got gaps, then go out to your network and your friends and your family and ask for recommendations for those gaps.
Revisit your why.
Go back to your reason why you’re running your business. Personally at the moment I’m going through in my personal life some really awful stuff. One of the reasons stopping me from getting out there is this idea of being seen and being heard. I’m really holding back because I don’t necessarily right now want to be seen and to be heard by certain people in my life, because the minute that I start thinking about that actually I get really emotional. I get really upset, I get a massive block in my throat.
When you’re going through a particular bad experience, trauma, or challenge in your life, try and redirect that energy. For example, if someone comes through to me with a problem I get a real buzz by helping them to come up with a solution. Often they know what the solution is, it’s just about using my skills as a coach to get them to come up with their own solutions themselves. I’m not actually telling them something necessarily new, I may be giving them some focus and direction and clarity. They know the answers, they just are seeking either some reassurance or they want someone to just give them permission that it’s okay to go off and do that.
That’s the great thing about working with a coach; sometimes you just need that reassurance and affirmation. So think about your reason why you started your business and redirecting your that negative energy into positive energy. If you’re feeling bad about yourself turn that around and think about how you could use that as positive energy. All energy is energy, whether it’s bad or whether it’s positive. You can control whether it’s bad or whether it’s positive energy, so if it’s negative energy turn it around and allow it to feed you and boost you.
If you’re going through a traumatic experience in your life, go out and talk about it. Go out and talk about what this experience is helping you to learn about yourself. Talk about what challenges that’s creating for you, and think about how many pieces of content that you could create by just talking about what’s difficult for you right now. That’s gonna really help to serve your audience, because the likelihood is your audience are going to be feeling exactly the same challenges that you’re feeling.
Share those vulnerabilities.
For any of you that watched Jesy Nelson’s (from girl band Little Mix) documentary two nights ago called Odd One Out; I watched it last night and I can tell you I think I cried from around halfway through it. For half of the program it physically made me feel so sick because what she was talking about in sharing her story as to how she was bullied and trolled when the band first won X-Factor really hit a nerve. This woman dreamt all of her life to be in a girl band, and the minute she achieved that it she didn’t want it, because she just had people trolling her, telling her how ugly she was, how fat she was and worse. I get really emotional just remembering it, because I felt like that when I was at school myself. I was really badly bullied at school; I was spat at, had drinks put in my hair, and was criticised in every way. It was just awful, and the fact that I’m getting emotional now shows that it stuck with me for all of these years.
Social media is a really positive thing in our society right now, but from a from a bullying perspective it never stops. If someone’s being trolled, they can’t switch that off and that’s a fear that I always have for my own children. It’s really important educate kids about bullies and cyber bullying and the effect that can have on people. What Jesy did in this documentary is she really shared her vulnerability. She shared her pain, and she shared her story.
So I think it’s really important that if you’re feeling low on self confidence in online business, which can often turn into depression and anxiety and these sorts of emotions, is reach out for support and also share those vulnerabilities. Often by sharing your pain you’re helping others, and that’s really important to talk about.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
It’s so easy to look at people you’ve been following on social media; they’re gaining loads of clients and earning £10k months, and I’m just starting out. I don’t have any clients, and I’m not earning that kind of money. Don’t compare yourself use them, use them as aspirations as to where you want to be. Don’t compare yourself to others; compare yourself to where you were yesterday.
Another thing that I would always encourage you to do if you’re feeling low on confidence is to journal it out. Write out in the mornings or in the evenings one clear focus that you want to give yourself for the day. This may be something that you didn’t do yesterday, that you’ve been putting off, or that you really know that you should be doing. Journal about that; find out what’s holding you back. What is the fear that you’re worried about? Often the fear is not based in reality, it’s just something that’s in your in your mind. So think about that, and then reach out for somebody for support. Think about reaching out to somebody that can hold you accountable.
One of the big benefits that I’ve had feedback from people in my Money Circle membership is that accountability actually is more than anything else. More than the content is the accountability and the support. Because we can go out and we can find out loads of content about anything we need to know, right? But actually it’s about the accountability and the support that’s most important. So don’t compare yourself to others – compare yourself to where you were yesterday.
Think of your boss as your angel investor
If you’re feeling frustrated and low in self confidence right now because you want to go places; maybe you want to set up your own business or side hustle. You want to get that business going and start attracting clients, but you’re in an employed job – think of your boss right now, or the company that you’re working for, as your angel investor. They are paying you a salary right now which gives you some time to create some ideas as to what kind of business you want to create for yourself for the future.
I had two conversations this week with two female financial advisers who are very unhappy in their jobs and want to set up their own businesses. One of the things that really helped me when I was in that position was to think about my employer in a different way. If you’re not happy right now and you want to set up your own business, think of them as your angel investor. They’re investing in you by paying you that salary right now so that you can then start creating the life that you deserve, and the life that you want.
Think about your language
As I mentioned before, having a clear focus for each day is really important, but also think about your language that you’re using for yourself. Often we feel low in confidence because of self-sabotage; we’re telling ourselves negative messages or thinking negative things, and that stops us from taking action. Think about your language – if you’re telling yourself I can’t do a Facebook live today because I’ve got a block, or my skin’s terrible this morning so I don’t want to go on video, or my hair’s really flat – whatever you’re telling yourself, think about your language. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things; you’ve got an important message to share with the world and people want to hear that, so share that message. Whether that’s in a blog, on a podcast, on a video – it doesn’t matter. Get your message out to the world because you’re going to redirect all of that negativity into positive energy and positive purpose.
Don’t live up to other people’s expectations.
This is a massive one. On the retreat that I went on a couple of weeks ago and in yesterday’s mastermind day, people always talk about parental influence. My dad wants me to do this, my Mum’s been saying this to me, or my best friend just said this. And they believe it. They believe that they can’t do it, or they live up to other people’s expectations.
If you live a life of other people’s expectations you will always lose, because it’s very difficult to live up to other people’s expectations. Of course there will always be critics. You’re gonna get family that maybe support you, you may get family members that don’t support you. You may get friends that support you, and even friends that don’t support you. Listen to what they have to say, but take the positives from it. Don’t live up to their expectations.
It’s really interesting to think about how often we feel “I need to do this because my dad would be proud of me” or “If I did this my mum would be proud of me” or “If I did this my best friend would think I’m a better friend”. But if we go through life always striving to live up to other people’s expectations, we will be disappointed, and actually we won’t live a fulfilled life. If you’re trying to live a life that creates happiness for other people not happiness for yourself, you’ll never be fulfilled.
Think about what creates you happiness and purpose in your life and relate it to your money. If you’re spending £200 a month on food and it’s not bringing you happiness, think about saving £80 of that and putting it into a different pot with purpose. Redirect it into a pot for an extra holiday next year, redirect it into a pot to create yourself a new wardrobe. If it’s gonna create happiness and bring you happiness, don’t worry about what other people will say about it. This is your money that you’ve worked hard to generate; it’s about you giving yourself purpose, giving yourself some expectations to live up rather than living up to other people’s.
Self confidence in online business
Remember this is about creating freedom from money, not money for freedom.
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